Vanguard Special: Embarrassed by the way my undergraduate girl dresses

Dear Bunmi, 

My youngest child is just over 20 and is in the university. All of a sudden, she’s wearing so much make-up, it makes her look like a tramp. 

She has really nice eyeballs but you can hardly see them because of the heavy mascara she wears. 

She wears a lot of weird lipsticks and her hair-style is out of this world. She’s done so much colouring and heaven-knows what else to it that I fear she might go bald.

I’ve tried talking to her but she told me that’s the way her friends behave. We are a decent Christian family and I don’t want her to be out of control. My husband tells me to ignore her, as she would change only if she wants to. I’ve seen people stare at her and make nasty remarks, especially about the skimpy clothes she wears. It is sad to see a decent daughter turn into a rebel.

Fadekemi, by e-mail.

 Dear Fadekemi,

Your husband is right, though. Once a girl starts down the road of cosmetic alteration, she may find it hard to turn back. Without her armour of make-up and skimpy wears, your daughter might be tagged an outcast by the peers she’s emulating. She sees herself as a glamour puss and finds comfort in the attention she’s getting. If you want her to change, why not talk her into both of you having a make-over? There are loads of girls of her age doing this and if it is a professional showing her what to wear and how to wear them, she just might listen to her instead of you. You’re worried because her looking like a tart seems a reflection on how badly you’ve brought her up. But this is not so. Believe me, she is doing her thing and this phase will definitely pass.

 Photo depict