When couples could quarrel

WONDERED what it would be like for a couple to make a good and positive use of a quarrel they have had. Quarrels are part and parcels of all relationships. They take the form of heated arguments, sometimes shouting on top of their voices at each other while trying to make the other person see things from their own point of view, which they believe to be right. The more the idea that couples could make use of quarrels, the more one could be said to be taken aback. This is because sometimes quarrels could get physical and injuries may be the consequence. 
When someone says “1 could make use of a glass of cold water right now”, it means that the person is going to make use of the glass of cold water for a positive purpose. In the same regard couples could use quarrel for a positive purpose. Even if injuries could be the outcome of a quarrel, the aftermath of such quarrel could still be put to good use by the feuding couple. Couples here include the dating, the courting as well as the married couple. This writer abhors same sex relationships, so a couple in this regard excludes same sex relationship couples.
  Couples come into their relationships from different back grounds which could include different educational standing, social class, economic and financial prowess, psychological and emotional makeups. These factors play into what could result into differences which may result into quarrels between couples. When quarrels ensue between couples, depending on how deep the differences had gone, it could not be out of place for some deep seated anger to be vented. Demeaning, vulgarish and insultive words could be thrown at each other. While the quarrel is on, the feuding couple could just be aware of the deep seated anger within them which may have welled up, but because of the charged atmosphere all cautions fly through the window, then the tantrums flow freely and all guards go down. The quarrels may be in the presence of the children, parents, relations, friends, house helps and neighbours. It may even be in public and in presence of strangers.
  The feuding couple may not give a damn. All that matters at the moment is the assertion of what is being claimed. The quarrel need not be both partners giving it a go at once. It could be just one of the two being quarrelsome at the other at one point in time.
  The quarrels that couples go into ordinarily, should go on to cement the relationship and make it stronger. This is however, where matured couples that are involved. Why it should be so, you'd ask. ‘.....after saying all sorts of things about me in the presence of friends, belittling me in front of relations, insulting me in front of co-workers, probably reducing me to nothing in the presence of neighbor's and worse still, making me to lose respect in front of my own children.....’ These are some of the things that would ordinarily agitate the mind of any one who is aggrieved, especially if he or she is the partner that is wronged. Though I am no relationship coach or psychologist, but I am certain that the wronged partner and even the offending one would be asked by anyone that intervenes to help mend the relationship ' and so what flush the relationship down the drain. The advice would be ‘.....this is the time you need each other the more, try to mend fences and love your man or woman, I tell you it will work out fine and you will both grow stronger in love....’ Our old grandparents will say this is the time you need to really perceive the smell of your husband's or wife's mouth and nose, if it does not smell well, help him or her clean it very well so that some other person does not help you do it outside your home.
  While it is good to avoid quarrels, it is also important to note that after a quarrel, the quarreling couple gets to know themselves the more, even if the relationship does not continue. A partner should
ordinarily be wiser after he or she may have had a quarrel with his or her partner. This is one way I believe couples could use a quarrel. They should be able to confront the reason for the quarrel and deal with it at once and learn to manage the situation should it arise again in the future. It does not mean that quarrels would end, but the ability to deal with a quarrelsome situation would be a guide to deal with other such situation that arises subsequently.
  Quarrels being part of relationships may go on and on and on as long as the relationship exists. Some quarrels could take a verbal form, while some could get physical, and some could be so embarrassing that the couple could become so ashamed of themselves when they realize the scenes they must have created while their quarrels occurred. If the couple is matured, then the negative outcome of their quarrels could be sufficient enough to make them to do a rethink of the way they loudly express their differences. They could do without an outside intervention. They could even on their own decide to seek outside intervention and where this is properly managed, the love between them could get cemented the more, and the relationship blossomed the more.
  On the other hand some couples engage in quarrels, yet their children, relations, friends and surrounding neighbors would not know of the existence of such quarrels. This is the kind of quarrels I would regard as a well-mannered quarrels. When such quarrels take place between. couples they do it, so maturely, that they could even laugh and crack jokes over the quarrels with themselves. When such quarrels take place, even though there is always disagreement amongst such couples, it is always a disagreement with a mildness surrounding it. They always arrive at an agreement with little or no rancor. Here disagreements could be settled with lots drawn and they abide with the decisions arrived at without same being contested by either partner. Children can grow up in this well-mannered quarrelling but happy environment without suffering any psychological effects that children who grew up in an abusive and quarrelsome environment suffer from.