Atiku Visits Buhari

    

 “Good morning, General...”

“Turaki, ina kwana. It’s nice having you here...(Buhari takes a quick look at the aides who followed Atiku. The soldier in him makes an appreciation of what kind of person each of the five could be. Then he looks at his guest: I know why he is here...he wants to use me to take what rightly belongs to me...)

“Your Excellency,” Atiku says with a wry smile that tells Buhari that the Fulani man is also reading him, sizing him up. He turns to his aides: “ Have you heard this proverb before: where witches are meeting, sick people do not loiter around? So, please, you guys can excuse us.” (He smiles, others burst out in a fit of laughter as they withdraw into another living room in the mansion).

“Bisimillahi. I am here, General, to seek your help... or rather, your support for my aspiration to be President. “ Buhari looks away, picks the cable TV decoder and changes the station from AfricaMagic to Super Sports.

“Yes, Turaki, continue. I am listening.”

“Thank you, Your Excellency. You know, we have to get it right this time around. We have to work together. We must save this country from its persistent clueless leadership. Besides (lowers his voice as if someone else is in the room with them), the North looks up to us. We must not fail our people.”

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“ Shuaibu! Won’t you bring something for Turaki,” Buhari calls on his chef, turns to his guest; “What will you take?”

“Just water. Water is OK. It is the only liquid I take. You know, General, we are getting old and the older one gets, the more water one should drink.”

“You are now talking like a doctor.”

“Ah...Well, at our level, we are everything. And by the way, politicians are doctors, so to say. The people are our patients. It’s our lot and duty to attend to the infirmity of the land and its people. A doctor not only cures, he prevents afflictions too. That is the primary duty of a leader. Or what do you think, General?”

“Well...your water is here (a very neat middle-aged man places a bottle of water with a glass cup on a stool beside the guest. As he makes a gesture to open the bottle, Atiku gestures back, suggesting he will open it himself. The host smiles again. He understands. You don’t allow strangers to pour drinks for you).

On the TV, a Premier League match between Chelsea and Arsenal is on.

“This is an old match. I can’t remember how many times I have watched it,” Atiku says

“Yes, it is an old match,” Buhari responds,  “I don’t know why they keep on repeating matches as if all there is to watch is the past.” Atiku smiles. Buhari throws a cold furtive glance at the smiling Fulani man. I am Fulani too, he should know. The fox is flashing back at my previous serial contests for the presidency. And, so what? What difference is there between us. Mine is even better.

“And these two clubs won’t stop amazing me. They are very good clubs but it seems one is decidedly better than the other.”

“Naturally. In a two-horse race, one must be more adept at the game than the other. You observe that Chelsea has been very consistent in beating Arsenal. There must be something in the Blues that delivers the Gunners so naturally to them. I had thought the last match would be different, but no. They won again. I believe it is discipline-- the level of discipline in both clubs. If I were Arsene Wenger, I would declare WAI in Arsenal and you would see the difference.”

 The guest laughs...”War Against Indiscipline, General? Some others would suggest it is the character of the manager himself that is the bane of the club. Yet others would say the club needs younger, energetic players to defeat their arch opponents. “

“ Are we not saying the same thing?”

“Not exactly, General. You are suggesting mending broken adults; I am suggesting breeding young brilliant giants.”

“Broken adults? Turaki, you know experience is not a commodity you can buy across the counter. You must plant and nurture it before it can come handy on the day of contest.”

“But, General, I would rather vote for the right experience. Like, experience in winning. You see what those guys in Manchester City do with the ball? “

“What is it about them? They are a team of stars bought with millions of pounds from other clubs. It is what I call monetisation of football. You can only see a parallel in the PDP where money is the name of the game.”

“ Can you win trophies without spending good money? And did you just say PDP? I thought we, APC, are the Man City model in Nigerian politics. We have attracted enough smart people from other parties to be able to win the next election if only we work hard enough.”

“Hard work is not enough, Turaki. Star players not enough too.  We must present the right candidate.”

“Exactly why I am here, General. I need your support. With you as my main man, all these other people whose words are never worth an ounce of truth will fall in line. You know we are more than the APC. We have a common heritage. We are Fulani.”

“ Turaki, now, tell me. Can you remember what really happened with the 53 suitcases at the airport in 1984?”

“Sir? Fifty-three suite cases? The ones your ADC cleared? “

“ You were the Comptroller of Customs at the airport that time.”

“ And, sir, you were the Head of State. We reported to you...That was 30 years ago.”

“So, it is 30 years already? Allah Sarki! No wonder, some enemies are calling you and me old men. But I am not old. Age is in fitness. I am fit and strong for anything...”(changes the station back to AfricaMagic) “Drink your water o, Turaki.”

Continues next week

Nigerian Tribune Special